


The Memories That Fade

by isobel__smy



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Immortality, Memory Loss, Other, Sad Magnus, Sad Magnus Bane, Supportive Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 09:18:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7527088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isobel__smy/pseuds/isobel__smy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus had planned for a relaxing day, where he could read through the books he’d been staring at longingly for years. Yesterday, he had summoned a demon for a travelling werewolf who needed to find some strange artefact, and tomorrow he was due a meeting at the institute with the current head- who may or may not have been related to late Emma Carstairs. Today, however, was free.</p>
<p>Tessa had called before lunch, asking whether he would fancy going out for a cup of tea later that afternoon. After reminding her that Magnus Bane didn’t ‘go out for a cuppa,’ he invited her to his club, which was his latest investment. She had agreed, and told him she might invite Catrina.</p>
<p>- Magnus and Max are immortal. They've lived together for hundreds of years. And now Max realizes something terrible, and comes running to his Dad for comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Memories That Fade

Magnus had planned for a relaxing day, where he could read through the books he’d been staring at longingly for years. Yesterday, he had summoned a demon for a travelling werewolf who needed to find some strange artefact, and tomorrow he was due a meeting at the institute with the current head- who may or may not have been related to late Emma Carstairs. Today, however, was free.

Tessa had called before lunch, asking whether he would fancy going out for a cup of tea later that afternoon. After reminding her that Magnus Bane didn’t ‘go out for a cuppa,’ he invited her to his club, which was his latest investment. She had agreed, and told him she might invite Catrina. But other than that, it was 4pm and he had not been interrupted by a hoard of shadowhunters, or some vengeful vampires. (It was in moments like these when Magnus missed most his shadowhunter gang: Izzy, Clary, Jace, Simon, Alec. It seemed too peaceful.)

Magnus sipped thoughtfully on the hot chocolate he had summoned from his favourite café of all times, and turned the page on his book. It was on quite an interesting topic: magic healing. It seemed that other warlocks had had extremely bold ambitions. He was glad Max had sent it to him. 

The apartment was silent save from the turning pages and Glittersprinkle’s meows from the sofa. 

And then a portal appeared in Magnus’ loft, and he sprung out of his chair. Glittersprinkle yowled and ran under the nearest table, Magnus set down his mug and walked towards the portal, and a blue body fell out and onto the orange carpet. Max.

Magnus hurried towards the boy on the floor to check if he was okay. He wasn’t moving. He felt a surge of panic well up in his chest as he reached Max. He and Max had been together for many centuries now. They had seen the rise and fall of human empires and the Clave’s attitude towards the downworlders. They had fought together in the battle against Darron Blackthorn, a Wild Huntsman who hated all other creatures. Magnus often saw Max as his equal. But now, right in that moment, Magnus was reminded that this was his son, his baby.

His body was completely untouched, and Magnus sighed in relief. But then Max opened his eyes, and Magnus saw so much pain in them, pain that no father would ever want their son to have to suffer. Something bad had happened. “Dad,” he whispered, and started to cry.

Magnus pulled the boy close without a word. “It’s okay, hey, it’s okay,” he whispered. “It’s okay. Breath for me, Max, breath.” He could feel the boy shaking in his arms, feel the magic rolling off his fingertips and into Magnus’ back. “I’m here, I’ll always be here.”

As the boy started to calm down, Magnus tried to remember if today was the anniversary of anything important. But he came up with nothing, and before he could try and think of any other possible reasons for this, Max pulled away. He snivelled quietly, looking at Magnus. 

“What’s wrong?” Magnus tried, also sitting back. “What happened?” He had always wished there was a handbook for this. How To Deal With Your Warlock Child, or How To Be A Good Warlock Father. The mundane ones, about taking your son to the park to play ball didn’t seem to fit in any of the circumstances Magnus found himself in.

Max hung his head, which had always meant he was scared of Magnus’ reaction to whatever he was going to say, and he felt something twist inside of himself. “Max, I won’t get angry or anything. You can tell me what happened.”

“Promise?” Max’s voice was weak and small, which Magnus hadn’t heard for years. The last time was probably when he realised Raphael was going to grow old like Alexander, and he wasn’t. It broke Magnus’ heart.

“I promise.”

“Well, I was working, you know, with Jemma, and David, and Charlie- oh and Marley popped her head around the door as well- and I was just thinking- because god Dad, the work is so boring, and I doodling a couple of things in my book and Jemma asked me about…” Max paused, and took a deep breath. His voice was trembling. “About you and Dad, other Dad, Alec. She asked me something stupid about whether the Clave was happy with you two marrying. Which is a stupid question really. But… I realised I couldn’t remember him. I couldn’t remember Dad.”

Magnus sucked in a breath.

He had been so goddamn stupid for not seeing this coming. Warlocks lived for thousands of years, and Max had lived for hundreds and hundreds already. Their memories faded, they always did, and Magnus should have known that Max would start to forget his father, a man who had really only been in life for a blink of an eye. But he had forgotten, he had hoped, he had wished that Max would always remember Alexander, and the way he was his hero. 

Alexander had spent so much of his life with them worrying about Max forgetting him. He played with him, taught him to fight and protect himself, showed his him how to be a hero. He was always by his side, and Raphael’s, just to make sure he wouldn’t be forgotten. But he’d known that one-day Max would wake up and not remember that his Daddy would always make him warm milk with cinnamon when he hurt, or that his Daddy never forgot a single date, or that his Daddy always watched his mini productions, or the new spell he’d learnt. Or how his Daddy had cried for him. And now he had, and it was too soon.

“I’m sorry.” Max looked distraught, and Magnus pulled himself out of the pit of despair. Max was his baby, and he had to stay strong for him. “I’m really sorry I didn’t mean to. And I remember him now. Alexander Lightwood, a shadowhunter with blue eyes who was a hero. He loved me. I loved him. He always patched me up if I fell over. And even if it were just little tiny scratch, he’d make sure I was okay, make me cookies, and watch TV with me until I fell asleep. But if I forgot him, even for a couple of minutes, that means eventually I’m going to forget him. And I, I can’t!”

“Max,” Magnus breathed, “It’s okay. Your father and I… We knew this was going to happen.” He blinked away a couple of tears. “Warlocks live forever, and your father was in your life for such a small amount of time. We forgive you… Alec, your father, he came to peace with that.”

“I don’t want to forget him!” Max cried out, standing up suddenly. “I don’t want to! I refuse.”

Wearily, Magnus joined him standing up, and gestured towards his desk. “Max, you don’t get to choose not to forget. You are going to, and you need to accept that. But you don’t have to forget everything.” 

He bent over, and pulled out a thick book from the bottom draw. He’d forgotten about it, but he and Alexander had made it back when they had fully talked about the fact he was going to die soon. A book of memories. A book of pictures, and words, and the reassurance that forgetting the details was okay, as long as Max remembered the love Alexander had felt.

“Your father and I made this.” He didn’t say anything else, didn’t want to. Instead of filling the heartbroken silence with words, he handed over the book and smiled at his son. “For you.” Max cradled it like a baby, like Alec had once cradled him, and opened it up. 

As Magnus watched, tears started to streak down Max’s face. His bottom lip wobbled, and he closed the book. “Dad…” He closed his eyes, and Magnus watched him. “Can we… can we go through this together?”

Magnus knew that going through this book would take days. He knew that he would have to cancel his plans with Tessa, and he knew that his meeting with the Clave would be forgotten. But this was Max, his blueberry boy, asking him for something to help him. How could Magnus say no?

“Of course, Max.” They sat down on the sofa, and Glittersprinkle slowly joined them. Magnus pulled the book half onto his lap, stroking the cover softly. He took a breath. “I tell you what, I’ll even tell you the stories your father didn’t want you to hear. Like when he fell down the stairs on out date… Or how he got really drunk and sang me an opera song in the middle of Brooklyn.”


End file.
